Johnny Knoxvile was scheduled to call us this morning on Johnny's House but his time got pushed back and we couldn't take it... So as I was sitting in the studio doing some work... the hotline rings and it's Johnny Knoxville on the phone?!
I wasn't planning on talking to him so I didn't have anything ready... and I knew he only had about 7 minutes so I just made it up as I went...
Bad Grandpa is in theaters... for the few people that don't care to see a bunch of kids kill each other for food... and they have a deal for you too... Buy 2 tickets to see Bad Grandpa and you get one FREE...
Here's the interview...
According to a new survey, three out of four people instinctively LIE or give an EXCUSE when they're late, rather than just owning up to their lateness. So... trust no one... Including yourself, I guess.
The survey also came up with the top 10 most popular excuses people give for being late... check 'em out.
1. There was really bad traffic.
2. My alarm didn't go off.
3. I got lost.
4. My train was late.
5. My car wouldn't start.
6. My kid was sick.
7. I was snowed in.
8. My car broke down on the way.
9. My partner was sick.
10. I couldn't get a babysitter.
It rained somewhat hard in Los Angeles on Wednesday night, and one news report basically tried to make it sound like the END OF DAYS.
A reporter for NBC 4 was out on the streets, and talked about how there was some heavy drizzling and even some wind... then noted that people were walking FASTER than normal.
The segment also included first-hand accounts from people who braved the storm... like one guy who explained that his girlfriend forgot her umbrella, and had to go back inside to get it...
They can handle the Earth moving and knocking things over... but don't let it sprinkle...
Anyone can rant about the stuff that makes them angry... there's no art to that. So today we're gonna try to turn your blind rage into poetry... Sort of like an Angry Haiku...
I want to know what makes you angrier than anything else, IN EXACTLY FIVE WORDS... no more, no less. Here are 10 of the best examples I've heard...
1. Arguing with the willfully ignorant.
2. Borrowers who break your belongings.
3. Supermarket 15 items lane abuse.
4. "Why don't you calm down?"
5. Click your pen again, jackass.
6. People always on their phone.
7. A false sense of entitlement.
8. "How's the job search going?"
9. People who spoil the ending.
10. Hashtags in front of everything.
You can play along at home... Give me your Five (and it HAS TO BE FIVE) words that sum up what makes you angier than anything else you can think of...
Everyone jumped to the conclusion that Eminem was on drugs when he went on Saturday Night College Footnall 2 months ago and he was totally spaced out... then some people said it was stage fright from live TV... I would like to point out that I said it was neither... that it was Eminem being... well... Eminem...
Turns out I was right (as usual)... Eminem was just being Eminem... making his "Berzerk Face"... which is actually a tribute to an old Beastie Boys video... which makes sense considering that Rick Ruben produced the Beastie Boys back in the day... and he produced Berzerk from Eminem...
Now that the great mystery is solved... how about we embrace/create a new intertnet trend... THE BERZERK FACE... it's way better than the Duck Face... and you can do it anywhere... it makes a good video or photo...
Check out the pic above... and the video below... and start spreading THE BERZERK FACE!
There are thousands of studies on what makes people satisfied in relationships. So it's kind of poetic that after ALL THAT, we're right back to: "Men are shallow pigs."
A new study just found that the key to a happy marriage for men is... a HOT WIFE. The researchers found that men with attractive wives reported higher satisfaction in their marriages than men with less attractive wives.
Not surprisingly, that WASN'T the case for women... a handsome husband or an unattractive husband didn't really have an effect on whether a woman was satisfied in her marriage or not.
BUT... attractive women DID report they were happier in their marriages. The researchers think it could be because their husbands were happier, which made them happier too. In other words... this study just set feminism back like 40 years.
Another study found the top thing that makes men think women are marriage material is... sexual compatibility. Number two is that she's willing to TAKE CARE of him.
The top things that make women think MEN are marriage material are... honesty and trustworthiness...
So to sum it up... Men are shallow and think mostly of themselevs... and women are saints...
I wonder if the chick that did these studies are HOT???