I'm not even gonna lie. I played the most perfect prank on Johnny yesterday.
For the last 9 months, Johnny (who is childless and has never been married), has been giving me hell (all in good fun) about being pregnant.
The jokes have been daily! And I've been taking it and taking it and taking it!
'Laura you're so salty today...must be hormones'
'Laura, you need to put down the cupcake!'
'Laura, be careful not to snatch food from little children'
'Laura, your ankles look like Kletus Klump'
'Laura, when you get home today, you should give your husband a big hug for being able to put up with you'
You name anything you shouldn't say to a pregnant woman and I guarantee he's said it to me on the air!!!
And up until TODAY, I've taken it in stride. So, I decided to get him back for ALL of it!
I poured an entire glass of water on the floor and on my lap when he was yapping away about something on-air. ;) He didn't even notice the splash sound.
I then started complaining during the commercial break about how I didn't 'feel so well'.
By the time we got back from the break...Johnny said, "Laura...what's going on with you? You're looking very pale and your eyes are watering..."
I said, "I don't know...I'm cramping...(I looked down) Oh my god my water broke!!!!!...there's water on the floor Johnny!!!!"
(I'll have audio and/or video for you as soon as our video guy is back in town...we DID record it though!)
His reaction was priceless...he screamed like an adolescent Bieber fan who just caught his sweaty towel at a concert.
My primary care doctor even texted me that I should GO TO THE HOSPITAL! The amazing nurses at "The Baby Place" who were listening even called each other to prepare for my arrival!!
Luckily, I had the foresight to alert my husband to the prank minutes before I did it. But, I didn't have time to alert my siblings, mother or anyone else in my family! (They weren't too amused)
We all spent the next half hour just reassuring everyone that it was a joke. I knew some folks might have been a little annoyed, but for the most part, it was a HIT and the people who couldn't even get out of the car because they wanted to hear what happened, got a good laugh out of it.
And even the annoyed and happy listeners could agree on one thing...JOHNNY DESERVED EVERY BIT OF IT!!
I absolutely LOVED the theme of this year's Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
The Met Gala theme was "PUNK: Chaos to Couture"...I wish all the celebs actually followed the theme, but it was still an amazing night of fashion!
So, for my favorites...Miley Cyrus, JLo, BLAKE LIVELY OMG was she stunning, Giselle and Gwen Stefani and of course
And "WTH were they wearing?" goes to Katy Perry, Kate Upton, Kerry Washington, Beyonce (I think she's pregnant!), and the Olsen twins.
I was super pleasantly surprised by Nicki Minaj, who looked normal for once. I thought she looked great!
Who were your faves?
Here's a slideshow of all the stars:
So I met with the FABULOUS Laurent Gabriel from Elite Pro Dog Training. He's the one who trained my two monsters BEFORE we decided to get pregnant.
When I realized a new baby might change their behavior a little, I figured I'd call him up again to be sure we're prepared for any 'rebellion' or jealousy.
Laurent had some great tips for us:
1) We are supposed to bring home a blanket the baby was wrapped in at the hospital and put it in the crate with them BEFORE we actually come home with the baby. They'll recognize the smell when she does come home and she won't feel like such a threat.
2) We are NOT supposed to allow the dogs to get too close for the first month or longer after bringing her home. This will teach the dogs that they no longer have FULL REIGN of the home. They are now sharing the space with the baby.
3) This may sound crazy, and he warned us it is only an old wives tale...BUT, some trainers say you should put a little baby pee on some bread and let them eat it. It is supposed to make the dog feel like the baby is now a part of them! ?? We won't be doing that, but now you know ;)
4) We bought a baby doll who cried and we put her in the car seat and did a 'drill' of sorts. We walked into the house with the crying baby to see how the dogs reacted. Turns out, they were TOTALLY cool with it. We had to keep them away from the doll and be very stern with them, but it only took a few minutes for the dogs to 'get it' and they backed off.
5) Laurent says the dogs should only be allowed to smell the baby or get close to her a few times a day and ONLY on your terms. Then, he says, take the baby away. It should only be a slow introduction.
***Basically, he's always said it all comes down to creating boundaries. No dogs on the bed or the couch or laying on your feet while you eat dinner at the table. That was really hard for us to enforce, but once we did, we had DIFFERENT dogs and now we're reaping the benefits!
Hope that helps you! If you need a trainer for your crazy canine...Call him! He's the best.
Laurent 407-247-1236 is his number.
Here's a video of his work:
A few people asked to see photos from my recent baby shower and it took me forever to weed out the 'double chin' and overall terrible photos of me.
(Plus, you'll notice I way overdid it with the tan in a can...It was actually pretty funny)
Then, of course, there were the photos that I liked, but my friends or family did not like of themselves... Gotta love us ladies!
Here's what we were left with ;) I'm actually surprised at how many made the cut.
I am 35 weeks pregnant by the way and my belly is measuring 37 centimeters!!! She's a biggie already! ENJOY xoxo
I just happened to come across this on my friend's Facebook page...This is nuts!
The difference between Coke and water is astonishing!
1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 30%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
And now for the properties of COKE
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the “real thing” sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
For Your Info
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!
I usually don't go out of my way like this to help an animal because I literally get an email a day from rescue groups or just a person asking for me to help them find a lost dog or cat etc.
There's no way I could accommodate them all :( ...I wish I could.
BUT, this email just hit me hard and made me want to help, or rather, made me want to ask YOU to help mostly because you're always so resourceful with everything else!
Here's the email I got...verbatim:
I know you have a big heart for animals, maybe you can help me. I have a hurt mama duck in my backyard, she has a hook through her foot and wing. There are ten baby ducks with her, so I'm trying to find someone to help me get the hook out. I've been calling bird rescues, but have been unsuccessful. The duck is located in Sanford, FL. Maybe you can ask on air who I can call?? Any help would be great, it's so sad. :(
So, do you know anyone? Can you help? If so, email HelpMamaDuck@gmail.com and you can contact Allison.
I asked her where exactly the pond is...she said: SR 46/Orange Ave on the Lake Mary/Sanford border.
***PS. The pic above is NOT the actual duck, just a random one.
Hope you guys can help!!! xoxo